Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Monday, January 8, 2007

EXPOSED!!!

YEARS ago, I dated a guy, okay he was a companion, because dating him would have been not too smart, who we will call unexposed. What is the deal people? seriously please?!! Here's the story, I had a dinner party to attend, so I took him to the mall with me..Let me describe the scene so that you can feel like you are there..Close your eyes, okay keep one eye open so you can read this, but close 'em--Im telling him about the people I will be meeting at the party, and being chatty because I am excited, yet trying to keep my composure and not jump up and down. The smells of the stomach curdling mandarin food is floating by my nose and making my mouth water and not in a good way, the popcorn is screaming to get to my hips and thighs, and Im running to get to the quiet floor. I see the escalator and take him by the arm to make our way there. As we get to the escalator a lady jumps in front of us, and as she does I swear she let some air seep out of her butt and smells like it wasnt just air, thats what she gets for being rude I GUESS. As I am putting my foot out to step onto the moving incline, I let go of his hand, thinking that he is right behind me. I am riding up the escalator with my nose curled up, really pissed at the lady ahead of us for being so 'stankin', and turn to speak to my companion and I'll be damned, his ass is still at the bottom looking at the escalator stairs as they pass by trying to figure out which one to jump on. OMG!! what did I get myself into. As the escalator is about to suck me into the turnbuckle because I forget to step off since Im too busy laughing and trying to figure out if he is really from the 2000 era..I will be honest it does cross my mind to leave his ass there staring at the escalator turnbuckle, I could swear he is counting them...Gentleman and Ladies, there is a thing called
being UNEXPOSED!!! Where you stay in your home and watch TV and you have never seen or done half of anything..please dont allow yourself to be a hobbit, caveman or woman, or be standing at the bottom of the escalator while your companions are laughing at you and trying to figure out how to leave your ass behind please..Needless to say, I had to tell him about himself, I asked questions first, then I had to tell him..There is just no reason for HARDLY anyone to still be in those times..
So, expose yourself, or at least freaking know or be familiar with things and act like you know how to use them even if you cut off your own finger-literally speaking there..peace,love and till another post..will be in a few hours though

Saturday, January 6, 2007

ARE YOU READY??!!!!!

We have so far had so many things that have happened since the beginning of the New Year..are they worth mentioning in all honesty? Some are, some are not..On January 1st, I committed to believing in my mind and heart that 2006 would only be a blurry and very very foggy memory that I learned valuable lessons from. Mistakes I would not repeat, people I hope to never see, family who I will allow to no longer use,mistreat,manipulate,or any other thing/act a family member isnt supposed to do to someone they love...
To live, fully live, is to fully embrace "CHANGE"...That is something that I believe, we get used to things the way that they are, we feel secure with how our situation is and we are left afraid of what we dont know or are unfamiliar with..Why should we? You can't live, you can't breathe, you can't FULLY LIVE!! You will only know what you see on TV, you will only know what you read in books, you will only live each day to see,feel,think,taste what you have day in and day out felt,thought,tasted,did,acted, and my dears, what is the point.?
Why not step outside your comfort zone, step outside of what for 10 years, 25 years, or 50 years, you have always known, and see what it feels like to really be free, to really feel, to experience something different..Im not saying go cheat on your spouse, steal, rob, kill, USE COMMON SENSE please..Go skydiving, go hiking, cook something you have never made before and laugh when you half ass burn up the kitchen and still smell that stuff a week later..And laugh, laugh at yourself, dont always take yourself so seriously, and dont believe everything you hear and read..just take from it what applies to yourself and be happy..Dont let someone else decide your fate,your joy, your sadness, your pain, your tears for you..ITS YOUR TIME...NEW YEAR, NEW YOU..a good song, Tim McGraw 'live like you were dying'